You know, sometimes you just sit alone and wander about things, like the truth behind our existance or the maze of life, human tolerance for physiological variation, the magic of human brain. Louis C. K. once talked about how our mind worked both ways : … Continue reading A year later
The sun was going down, over the horizon. A warm orange tinge to the vast sky, with blotches of clouds here and there. The wind was not too cold. Infact, it was more towards the warmer side. The weather ‘looked’ pleasant, but was stuffy and … Continue reading Little Miss Sunshine
He told her , her body was a canvas
On which he would paint the world,
He would show her the beauty within her
And time would go blurred.
With promises of silky touches
Of soft kisses here and there,
Of making her gasp with pleasure
And try and take care.
She was a fool obviously
A lamb unable to see the wolf,
She realised the turth about the false promises
Once he left her with open wounds.
Her canvas of a body
Lay splattered with blue black marks,
Instead of showing her the promised inner beauty
He sent her angel to the world of dark.
Her cries of pleas were his pleasure
While the resistance fed his lust,
Forgetting how lust is one of the seven sins
She had given him her trust.
Promises of vain
Are just bait for the fools,
She realised this a little late
As she stared at the full moon.
She cried and cursed for HER foolishness
Cause the world would blame HER still,
After all she was the lamb unable to see the wolf
The wolf who would always be protected as per nature’s unfair will.
©aatreyeesarkar2000
Wonderful number 16…. Sweet sixteen as it is said. Needless to say, it is a very very happy day for me. Because today is another day when I will be surrounded by people I love. If you know me, you will very well … Continue reading Sixteen – 16
Its that time of the year again. The time when the old year says goodbye and the new year knocks on your front door saying, “hey! I am finally here!”. And then, when the knowledge that another year has passed by hits you, you start realising all those things that you decided to do but could not. And so, everything becomes a total chaos. And for those of you who do have everything under control even at this time of the year, good job!
But its almost magical how the year goes by so fast. And somehow i feel, happy and sad and funny and histerical all together. Maybe that is what life is all about. Magic. I mean, if you think intently, birds flying, breeze blowing, rain falling, flowers blooming and something happening to everything around us is also magical.
The world is large, huge. And yet, its funny how every now and then we meet people who turn out to be someone or the other to us. See. Thats what i am talking about. Its all magic.
Maybe 1,2,3….or even 20 years later, when i am not home, these things and small moments will tie me to my roots. Those winter mornings on the terrace where i sat enjoying the feel of the sun on my skin as a teen, or those pleasant summer days on the roof of my home, which was my very first playground. Not to forget that mango tree behind my house which was a totally different arena of fun during summer breaks and maa used to get all prepped with a hook and bucket for mango plucking sessions. Only challenge was to not let the neighbours know about our activity. Then there were those nights of loadshedding which brought all 8-10 of us out of our house and we sat under the big tree infront of our home and talked about various little things that our busy schedules never allowed us to talk about. Those sudden mad moments when everyone dressed up and off we went to parade through the streets of park street during christmas, adorned with fluffy shawls and big colourful glasses and glittery caps. Now that is exactly what i call home. Cause years later, when the world will change evenmore than it already has, and people will move on with their lives, these little things like that yummy traditional ‘payesh’ on birthday and having tea together on sunday mornings will be the big and unbreakable chains of bonds that will bind us, me, to what i call my HOME!
-Aatreyee Sarkar (16)
It’s funny how we perceive everyday things around us. Be it the tree in front of our house, or the birds that fly in the sky or even the moon up in the night sky. It seems so usual, so ordinary. However, it takes an incident or a few, to realize that nothing in this world is ordinary.
It was just an ordinary day. Living in the City of Joy, such a day consisted of the hustle bustle of the crowd, the shops lit up bright till very late at night and obviously the traffic. Life in the city never seemed to die down.
I looked at the road in front of me. Today, the choice was mine. The sky was clear and the roads semi-crowded. The car air-conditioner puffing out cool air to its fullest. Exam was over. Class 10 finals ended with a bang though the impact of it ending was not much. Same ol’ days. The overly bright mornings, the warm nights, the hectic boring days. That day was an exception. Dad honked the car bringing me out of my reverie as we turned onto the brightest and one of my favourite streets of Calcutta. Park Street.
The street lights glowing all along the street seemed to knock on people’s lives to keep them awake and energized. It did a good job. The car zoomed ahead…well as much as it could as the street was well jammed. We stopped by Bar-B-Q…a very well known restaurant of the city. However, before that came the difficult part. Parking. If any of you have ever lived in a metro like Calcutta you will know what I am talking about. Parking in places like these turns out to be a major job especially when you are talking about a Sunday evening. My father, who seems to have tremendous luck in finding parking spaces managed to get one place somehow. The cars whooshed past us as our car came to a halt. We climbed out and went in the diner and did we eat that day. The food was undoubtedly wonderful. Everything is, when you have an empty stomach and full enthusiasm of feasting.
After an excellent dinner we walked back to the parking where the car was resting and being a witness to the busy street. An inanimate ordinary object by the road, standing and watching the world move by. When we were leaving, there was this man who came to guide our car. Adorned by cut-off khakis and a torn tshirt tucked in his overly loose trouser waist, worn out shoes and tousled hair. The man emitted an aura of tiredness. A man who worked day and night to earn that little bit to run his family. His looks were repulsive, something he himself knew, I assumed. His eyes however, seemed to dominate his looks. Something present in them, a gleam of pride, of sadness and of achievement. A spark that shot down the other thoughts right out of your mind if you looked into them once. It confused me. It might sound weird. But that is what it is. An ordinary man in the parking lot doing his duty and collecting the parking fair just as it should be. What was surprising? Well, when he was given some extra money, he returned it. Something that is too ordinary to do. Isn’t it? But the question that arises is who does. For a man, like that old fellow, for whom even a Rs. 10 note holds immense value to return the money only ‘cause it’s more than the actual amount is what is unique.
In a world like this, where rich only seem to make use of odd methods, even poor do to improve their conditions, it was a great thing for a man in the parking lot to do. The powerful gleam in his eyes was his wealth, I realized that day. What rich people, moving around in BMWs and Audi’s, flashing their iphone 6s and flashy clothes don’t have. A sense of calm. He may have a small or a large family waiting at home. A child who is waiting for his father to come home so that his mother can cook something better than the usual minimal amount that they manage with everyday. A wife who expects her husband to get a little more to have a better tomorrow. But what the man returned that day was maybe nothing. But what he got instead would enable him to sleep the night peacefully be it with a hungry stomach.
As we drove home, I looked outside. The couples kept coming out form Trincas, families laughing as they got into the still-bright restaurants, the cars kept honking unaware of this little incident. Who would know of this ordinary man at the parking lot. He was just a fellow on the street with tattered clothes. But none knew, he returned home that day with a smile on his face, declaring himself as the king of his world once again another day.
-Aatreyee Sarkar
Calm and silence filled the air
only the sea waves crashing,
the seagulls flew in a ‘V’
the light from the lighthouse, flashing.
The sun, just above the horizon
A red ball of flame,
The sky a hue of orange, red, yellow
Some colours that cannot be named.
The cool wind blowing in its serene steady pace
The sea stretched on and on,
The mellow warmth and the cool wind
Of the spring season.
The sand sticking to my feet
As I make my way along the shore,
The waves touching my feet now and then
Wetting them even more.
The sun goes down and the sky turns darker
Taking new colours and hue,
The water gets painted in golden-red
While heaven turns to deep shades of blue.
The footprints I leave behind
As I keep on walking,
Walking down the road of life
A new future unfolding.
I look back and see my footprints
I left on the sand behind,
When suddenly the waves come and remove the trace
As if, just to remind.
The motive of life is to move forward
To unfold the undiscovered,
Lingering in the past won’t help
‘cause what’s done in the past, can’t be recovered.
The waves are the epitome of time flowing
Waiting for none,
‘cause after every night, we know
Will rise the sun.
The traces left on sand
Are the footprints of our life,
But when I look ahead, I see
A lot more I need to find.
See what future holds for me
Forgetting the past,
Because what’s done is done
And will not last.
Morning, evening and night
Will come and go,
Just like the dark and light moments of our living
They are to come, oblivious to what we do.
The sky turns dark and appears the moon
Shining bright in front of the dark curtain,
The stars however small they may be
Appear around it, making its glory heighten.
The beach turns dark, everyone goes home
Only the sea waves crashing,
The seagulls fly home in a ‘V’
The light from the light-house, flashing.
The waves are the epitome of time flowing
Waiting for none,
‘cause after this night too, we know
Will rise the sun.
-Aatreyee Sarkar
A tear trickled down my cheek as I took a final glance at Bahadur. ‘BAHADUR’. I miss him so much. Do you know who Bahadur is? He was my dear companion of Pahalgam; my dear friend; my HORSE! I turned around. I looked at him for one last time. I had to leave him and go. I tore away my glance from him…
Okay, let’s start from the beginning. The whole incident took place in the Kashmir valley of Pahalgam, the valley due for whose beauty, Kashmir is also called ‘THE PARADISE ON EARTH’. The date I don’t remember, but I can recall the entire feeling. We were travelling for about three hours all the way from Gulmarg. I heard everyone calling Pahalgam THE BEST, and was really excited to see the place. But the beauty started right from the road. There were lush green fields on both sides of the winding road. The green fields with a kiss of yellow in them. There was saffron being cultivated in those fields .I can remember the long stretch of fields on two sides of the road which accompanied us until we met the Lidder river. Now, the environment around the river was totally different from that of the fields but equally amazing. The river making its way through the valley of Pahalgam, with two tall mountains rising from two sides. The road running along the river. The river’s ripples could say that the water was freezing cold, but at the same time it ran so smoothly that even though it had a high speed, it looked totally cool, smooth. The carefree flow of the water in the river lit up a new life and feeling in my heart, the feeling of carefree happiness. I felt my heart flowing away with the flow of the cool water. I opened the window. I could feel the air on my face, and hear the soothing sound of the river. Soon our journey ended and my spirits rose ten times when I saw the hotel we were to stay in. It was like Heaven and its name resembled the word heaven-HEEVAN RETREAT. The hotel overlooked the Lidder river with a forest at the back and high misty mountains which were snow capped on the right. At the left one could see the Lidder rivers coming down as gleefully as in front of the hotel. That night we decided to stay back at the hotel, settle ourselves and enjoy in the hotel itself. The night view of the hotel was magnificent. The huge hotel, situated in the heart of mother nature, rather looked like a huge mansion and was glowing in the yellow lights that lighted its corridors, rooms and the large lawn in front of the hotel. But in this atmosphere all I could think of doing was to get inside my warm blanket and get lost in my own dreams which would obviously not be as great as the reality at that moment in time. We all gathered in a single room and soon among the songs and story-telling atmosphere around I slipped under my blanket and soon my heavy eyelids dropped close and I shut my eyes as the noise behind slowly flowed away and I drifted off to sleep.
The next day, my sleep was broken by my mother calling me. I was not feeling like getting out of the warm blanket. It was too cozy to get out off in the cold morning. I was not used the cold weather, but definitely felt really nice to be away from the scorching heat of Kolkata. My mother finally made me get up from the bed and pushed me inside the bathroom. After a hot water bath and a little water play which is my very common habit, I went outside inside the lounge where everyone was already seated for a warm breakfast. I ate my share of a hot cup of coffee, bread and fried egg. After breakfast we all decided to go on a ride on horseback through the valley. We all gathered outside the hotel and I was really happy to see twelve horses waiting there for us. One for each. I chose a chocolate brown horse, with beautiful silky black mane. To be frank, I am a true lover of animals. But I never thought being so would give me such pain later on. I was at first a little freaked out first because though it was me who chose the horse from the twelve horses, but I was completely unaware of my horse’s character and how it would be reacting. I got on the horse and we soon started off our journey. At first my father was leading with his black horse named RAJA, I guess. I was happy being second because I obviously did not want to lead through the rugged roads of the mountains. But soon after, I found that I was leading and all the other horses were behind me. I decided to enjoy the environment than to get scared because we were already far away from our hotel, which meant that I couldn’t return there and I had to ride on the horse back throughout the journey. I would like to inform that I was always and am a very talkative person and as a result cannot keep quiet for too long. So I started to talk to the owner of the horse. “What is his name?” I asked indicating the horse. “Bahadur” he replied proudly as he patted the haunches of the horse. “Hi Bahadur!!!”I felt really awkward saying this but to my astonishment, I don’t know whether by coincidence or not, he neighed. I considered it to be the starting of our friendship, the sign that signified the opening of a gate to a road of new experience.
We went through the roughest of the paths, but everything was so silent, so beautiful that it made me and maybe all the others feel really lovely. The only sound that could be heard was the trotting sound of the twenty four pairs of hooves that made their way through the mountain. We all stopped near a stream cum water fall in the middle of our path. We all clicked lots of pictures while the horses grazed nearby. After modelling for quite a few pictures, I do not know why, but while everyone was busy clicking more pictures of their own, an instinct worked in me and I went to Bahadur where he stood grazing with all other horses. I gathered some courage and slowly stroked the fur near his neck. The moment I did this I felt as if I was getting closer to this horse. A horse that I considered him then….
We all continued our journey. We all were well on our way when suddenly I saw Bahadur turn away from the main road and move up the steep slope. I got really tensed and as a reflex, started shouting for help. But I saw the owner of the horse to be cool and calm. He advised me, “Yeh Bahadur hai. Iska nam bhi Bahadur aur yeh hai bhi bahadur.” Later he told me that this horse was the leader of the troop and knew all the paths and as a result, there was no risk in any path he went. I closed my eyes and let all go. Suddenly I felt a shock of trust and confidence on the horse, on Bahadur. Finally I opened my eyes. I was totally struck with astonishment when I did so because I was greeted with a scenery that one would die to get. I looked back. I saw the other horses far behind me. But though I was separated from my group, Bahadur had specially taken me to the spot.
We were standing in a lush green field which overlooked the whole PAHALGAM VALLEY. How was it possible for such a beautiful place like that to exist in a world like this, where people fight for simple reasons, where we feel pain for every bit of things, warfare, jealousy and want for everything. It was around 1:00pm then. The rays of the sun, that were peeping through the trees in the field, was casting a shield of light over the entire valley as if to protect this beautiful place from any harm. I felt my eyes to be wet. I was actually crying? Well, yes I was. But that was not at all anything extra sentimental. The warm rays of the sun that touched every inch of my skin was as if washing the warm of its happiness over me. And I am not at all hesitant to say that looking at that beautiful god painted picture from a lush green field on a horse back and all alone was maybe the best moment of my life. This may seem a little bit more of a story to others. But if one sees this with his or her own eyes then even that person will realize what I was feeling then. Maybe none of my other family members enjoyed the scene as much as I did because none of their horses were like Bahadur. But soon my whole family arrived as I was wandering of these philosophical stuff and laughed thinking what I was lost into suddenly. After some time we rode back to our hotel. Everyone got down from their horses, paid for them and went inside the hotel. Every one had more or less at least one complain against their horses. Someone said that hers was dirty while someone said that his did not obey the master. I got down too but couldn’t do the rest. I could not go back to the hotel. The friendship between me and Bahadur had grown so much that I did not feel like leaving him and going. I hugged and cuddled him. The friendship between us had grown so deep that he had started obeying me. He ran when I asked him to do so and trotted when told to do so. But then it was getting dark outside. I cuddled him for one last time and turned back to go inside the hotel. But then as soon as I turned, he neighed and as I looked around I saw him coming near me. Was this really happening? This was what I questioned myself. The answer was yes. I ran to him as I grabbed him. Then for another ten minutes I stood there and finally my father came and took me inside. That night I cried so much. My father, mother, grandfather, everyone tried to console me but how could they understand what had actually grown inside me and what they called a mere horse. Next morning though my mood was a little sad I enjoyed myself greatly at the market. We bought ourselves many colourful merchandise as mementoes and took back many for home. That day in the evening we were supposed to leave from Pahalgam, back to Srinagar. Though I acted as if I had forgotten my friend, in my heart I had saved a picture of this special friend. Then some miracle happened, what we often call telepathy. As our car went past by a field of horses grazing, I thought I saw Bahadur and his name slipped through my lips before I realized whether I had really seen him or was just daydreaming because I was at that moment thinking of him. The car stopped and everyone came out of the car before I knew what was happening. They asked me where I saw Bahadur among about the twenty other horses. I looked around and showed the one had actually thought to be Bahadur. But then I was sure it was Bahadur when I finally looked at the horse. My mother told me to go to it and check whether it still remembered me or not. My mom greatly supported me that yes, the horse really became my friend but maybe she thought despite that it was impossible for an ANIMAL to remember a HUMAN with merely only one day of meeting each other. But she did not know, in fact no one knew that he was not a mere ANIMAL, he was my BAHADUR and I was not any mere human for him;I was NONI. His friend who had loved him so very much. And love can be only felt by the person who is loving and the person who is receiving it. And as a result no one understood even one tenth of our friendship. I ran to him without thinking anything else. I trusted him to identify me and yes, I was undoubtedly right while everyone else was proved wrong, though I myself got startled at first, Bahadur recognized me. He neighed and came towards me. I hugged him with all my heart and as I looked into his eyes, I saw tears in them. How was this possible??? Then I myself realized that though many people rode him no one maybe loved him so much as I did. That was the reason he became such a good friend of mine. That day I understood the wonder of nature. How can friendship develop by small and simple things, what magic is friendship.
Even today as I flip through the pages of the album my eyes get watery as I see the handsome brown creature as, I feel the pain, of leaving him and coming back in Kolkata, freshly and at the same time a wide smile creeps up my cheek as I see and remember my best friend from Pahalgam and the animal magic he had cast upon me.
-AATREYEE SARKAR (written at the age of 13. Please omit the flimsy grammer!)
Met in a bar. He was drunk. She was too.
ONE NIGHT STAND.
Next morning- Want to go out sometime?
3 months later- I love you. Marry me?
6 months later- Happy birthday darling! Beautiful roses for my beautiful wife.
2 years later- He stumbled in. Drunk. “I hate you”. Vases broke, furnitures crashed.
With a bleeding face, she sat alone and cut her birthday cake.
And whispered as he slept soundly, “but I still love you.”
They met years later, since they had graduated. In a college reunion. Looked each other In their eyes.
“I loved him since I first saw him” she said.
“She is my first and last love” he said.
She introduced her husband.
He introduced his wife.
They parted their ways once again, with a smile that did not reach their eyes.
Little did they know, neither of them where talking about their spouses.
At the age of 5, she heard,
“…and the prince saved the princess from the monster.”
At the age of 21, she realized,
…the prince himself was the monster
“You are incapable of making me happy.”
She left him.
Years later, on her seventh anniversary,
She sat alone at home, while her husband partied.
The door bell rung.
Flowers from old lover.
“Happy Anniversary.”
That was all it took to make her smile after a day of tears and realize how wrong she had been all those years ago.
“I hate you mom” she said and slammed the door at her mother’s tear streaked face.
Years later,
Her own daughter slams the door on her face after saying “I hate you mom.”
A bony hand wraps around her, hugging and soothing her as she cries on her mother’s shoulder. “Sorry mom.”
After all, history repeats itself.
The water running in full force
Making a gushing sound,
With the elegant moon overhead
All stunning and proud.
The deafening silence of the night
Filled by her thumping heartbeat,
Her insides all numb though
As she raises her feet.
She stood tall and steady
A figure in the dark eerie night,
She remembered all the last years
Giving up — no more fight.
She inhaled the cold sweet wind
As it whipped her hair on her face,
She raises her other foot too
As if in a daze.
“Never give up” someone had said
Someone said “Never say die”,
But after all these years of darkness
She knew, all they said were lies.
She clutched the cold railing
Curling her long, slender fingers around it,
Looking down to see the water beneath
Stretching from far left to right.
“Don’t lose hope” the angel said
“Do it” encouraged the devil,
She felt drawn towards the latter though
Even if she knew it was evil.
The clouds flowed past the sky
The moon like a faulty light,
She left the railing
Her arms wide open, as if ready for a flight.
But even the thought made her laugh
Cause she knew even if she could fly,
Life was so cruel to her, it would bring her down
Never let her soar high.
She closed her eyes, to thank god
For even the slightest good she got,
She smiled – ready to let go
A sad tear rolled down her cheek however she fought.
The sky cracked
lighting up the world,
for one last time she thought again
and tightened her hold.
The rain drops came down pitter patter
Accompanying her hot tears,
As she realized maybe one last time
She should try and overcome her fears.
The angel smiled, happy with her decision
The devil laughed however,
She may have changed her decision
But she would pay for it later.
She got off the bridge walking down the road
With a new determination,
For once maybe she could try and overcome
Her dark fate, her cause of frustration.
She urged herself to forget her past
To start a new future,
She walked down the road with a new happiness
After many years of pent-up anger.
But people say you are responsible for your fate
But they are all liars…
Cause as she walked down the road
she heard loud screech,
she turned left to get blinded by lights
and finally met whom she wanted to meet.
The devil laughed, “ I told you so.
You asked for it, my dear”
The angel cried as she lay lifeless
On the cold road of December.
-AATREYEE SARKAR
aatreyeesarkar2000 